Holy cow. There must be millions of men in America nervously sweating it out right now, wondering if they will be the next man publicly called out for behaving inappropriately with women. These men know who they are.
What was it this time that made women's outrage at men's dog behavior turn into a national tsunami? How did it take until 2017 for women to publicly call out these dogs for what they are? I don't know. We feminists have been bringing this to light since the 1960's, yet the media never gave it the level of attention it merited. Maybe it is because we currently have a Grabber in Chief.
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| Harvey |
These guys who have been called out in the media are just plain stupid. Stupid because if a man is presentable, nice, friendly, courteous, interesting, and fun, then the woman he is desiring is likely to be open to his attentions, that is, if the situation is socially appropriate.
These men all have something in common - power. Corporate power, co-worker power, political power, financial power, or the power of talent and fame. I can only think that these men must have been blinded by the giddiness of their particular powers. When they should have been mature, responsible people, they let their inner adolescent run wild.
The age old question - why did they do it? The age old answer - because they can.
I'm skeptical that this outburst of sexual correctness will have a long lasting effect, though I sure wish that it would. The sexual instincts of both men and women are not going away anytime soon (I hope). The best outcome here would be for lots of men to get the message that they can get to this particular goal without acting like dogs. They should know that from this point on, if they do prey upon the innocent or less powerful, they may as well be wearing scarlet letters - P is for predator, and A is for asshole.
I suppose that many people think that introverts are afraid of people, and also they probably believe that loners are shunning society.
Rather than those stereotypes, I propose that many introverts are simply happy and comfortable enjoying their own thoughts and interests, and I suggest that these tendencies begin early on.
I think that because introverts spend less time socializing, they tend to miss out on learning both the subtle and overt ins and outs of interacting with people. Thus, when they do end up in social situations, they are unsure about what the expectations are, and end up as wall flowers.
In my view, more often than not, introverts have gotten a bad rap. In all likelihood introversion has evolved in a person because of an abundant self dialogue. I doubt that for many the first ingredients in becoming an introvert are fear or dislike.
Because introverts enjoy such a rich inner life, it's easy to for them to slip into the category of loner. Often though, someone comes along and drags them into social living. Again, people who spend lots of time alone aren't necessarily harboring disdain for or wariness of others. They're more likely having a satisfying time with their own introspection and activities.
So I am asking, please don't throw all of us solo people into one bag. We aren't necessarily the ones who end up on the news, with their neighbors saying "He kept to himself". We are much more likely to be just enjoying our contemplations and pastimes. We may indeed have very active discourses going on within our minds, but we're not all thinking of cutting off our ear!
I don't like anything formal at all. I don't like anything that says either "You must do it this way" or "I've got more than you". I take great comfort and pleasure in living in an average town. I used to have a regular job with middle class pay.
The people that you meet in "anytown" for the most part are good hearted people, who work hard, love their families, and like to have fun when they can. That, in my opinion, is a rich life.
So why in the world would I look at two publications such as Vanity Fair and Architectural Digest? Yes, I do. It is a little bit like spying on another planet or civilization. I don't admire these people with their carefully structured abodes and expensive stuff. I look on in quizzical wonder. Why would anyone desire to live in a context that screams "I am special and above the rest", when "the rest" is the rich foundation of our society?
Both of these magazines, page after page, express the same message - that a person should be:
forever youthful, always thin, either classically or strangely beautiful, always wearing a look of boredom or disdain, always ready for some kind of kinky sex, and of course, very wealthy or kept by someone who is.
All this, while dressed in clothing and jewelry that most people can't afford, and living in a house that is surely decorated by someone other than oneself.
The answer as to why I look at these two flaunting vehicles is that I am and always have been interested in art and design. So I flip through the glossy pages, looking at what the designers are coming up with for those who have the most money. Occasionally I do see something that wows me, but more often than not I see designs that seem to exist only to challenge those who already have everything and are bored with it.
Maybe it's that I need to confirm my sense of disapproval over those who shout so vigorously that they are living the better life. Why do I need to do this? I do it because their credo of more/bigger/prettier/fancier is continuously shoved in our faces via all forms of media. Maybe I need to, by observing the gluttonous class, reinforce my belief that the simple life is indeed the most rewarding life.
I know that I could just avoid viewing the media that carries these skewed messages.
But what I would love to see on the faces of those stick models is a warm smile, a look of empathy, a sense that they appreciate life. Not "What are YOU looking at?"
Wow. Forgiveness sounds wonderful. Everybody involved will feel OK from now on. Well, I don't believe it really exists.
No one disputes the utter horror of WWII. How on Earth did the world move beyond it? My own father bought a German car in 1957, just twelve years after the end of the war. My father was as much a U.S. patriot as anyone. By the late 1960's everyone was buying Japanese cars without a second thought. How did we move on so quickly? Forgiveness? I think not.
When I think about any person in the past who broke my heart, a taste of that old pain will rise to the surface. When I think about things I've done that were not examples of what a good person should be, I still feel inner shame.
Nonetheless, I am not walking around like a wounded soul. I pretty much manage my life as a fairly normal person. So, how does this transition successfully evolve, both culturally and personally? I think we compartmentalize it, tuck it away, and don't look at it too often. I think announcing that we've forgiven is an untruth. A lot of us, with time, can move forward in life with that personal baggage neatly stored inside. Those who are unable to do that, end up with short fuses, scores to settle, and/or an unstable mental state.
So I don't think we should be preaching about the glory of forgiveness. I don't truly think that we are really fully capable of that. I do believe in the idea that the best revenge upon those who would hurt you, is to move forward and build yourself as good a life as you can. That includes cataloging the past, yet focusing the bright beautiful light of the promise of each new day. See? Denying the concept of forgiveness can sound just as gooey as anything!
Well, who the heck stole it?
Answers: Initially, the "I've got mine" people. Secondly, the profiteers of technology.
I joined this smallish town 40 years ago. It was cute, friendly, and kind of asleep. It won my heart. The old downtown buttoned itself up at night for the most part. Yet the streets were alive on the weekends, with teens living out the age old ritual of cruising back and forth through the downtown blocks.
It was not difficult to find a little house to rent in town or around the outskirts, perfect for young adults working on figuring out their futures.
The whole region was determined to not become a vast wasteland of ugly suburbs and freeways, which was a good and noble goal. In that spirit, the first move was made by the city to limit growth. The city proposal was challenged in court by the construction industry in 1975, and the issue got national attention. The city eventually won.
In the interim years, the city could not avoid some growth, but it was pretty darn slow. Every new shopping center and housing development had to jump through an insane number of hoops to be completed.
The death spiral for the city in remaining a middle class community began with the computer and telecom revolutions that were going on 90 miles to the south. The newly rich CEO's and programmers set off a sharp rise in the real estate market in their immediate region. Then year, by year, by year, like concentric waves caused by a pebble dropped into a pond, the inflating real estate market crept closer and closer to my city.
Now it is here full blown. If you are middle class and own a home already, you're OK. But if you should sell your home to cash in on the market, you will be forced to move far away from here in order to purchase another home. If you are a renter - bad luck for you. Landlords are taking full advantage of the situation. People who work in local shops can't afford to live in town. Most graduates of our high schools will not be able to buy a home in the town where they were raised. The graceful old homes in my neighborhood are going up for sale in the million dollar range.
So, as the older citizens of town die off, they are being replaced by young professionals with money to burn. The middle class homeowners are frozen in place. The normal tradition of trading up houses within the same town is no longer possible for most. Stay in place or else move to who knows where. No developers bother to build starter homes or average homes. They only build McMansions. The schools have fewer children because young families cannot afford to buy here anymore. The senior citizens who are not homeowners are in a very precarious pickle.
I do realize that times change. But it is sad to see this town have such limits on whom it welcomes now. Yes, the town did avoid endless suburban sprawl and freeways. But now there is no future here for the next generation of middle class people. I think that is an ugly outcome.
There are always warm discussions about what community means. This town is feeling more and more to me like a somewhat exclusive club. The city planners' rallying cry should not have been "Don't do it". Their credo should have been "Do it right". For the benefit of everyone.
